Moments in Time

I am currently sitting in Kaladi Brothers Coffee shop, my first official 'bring my laptop to a coffeeshop in town and sit' afternoon. I'm doing lots of things today, including various work tasks and errands.

I have been thinking a lot lately about moments in time and how much they can affect our lives for days, or weeks, or months, or even years.

There are moments in my past that have forever affected my existence: the moment when my friend, Dave, announced that I was married to Kennan; the moment when I got the phone call that my grandpa had died, and two years later, that same phone call about my grandma; the moment I accepted my job here in Alaska; the moment a woman told me I couldn't be a pastor because I didn't have a penis. These moments have affected where I have been in my life, and where I am going. Small moments in time, but big moments in life.

There are so many moments in every day. Moments to despise, moments to cherish, moments to miss what is happening around you. These first few weeks in Alaska have been difficult, they have been challenging, they have made me want to pull out my hair and scream, but there have also been moments where God has been so present that I almost choke, moments where I feel and see God saying, "I'm here. You'll be alright. Thanks for listening, even when it is hard."

Some of these moments:

This morning, when a young native student prayed for me in the car while we were driving to her school. I had prayed for her during our devotion time and she wanted to return the gift. Amazing.

Last Friday, when a rainbow stayed in the sky for almost an hour over campus, reminding me that God has not forgotten me, or this place.

Hiking on Saturday, listening to young women who have been abused, bruised, and beaten by the world laugh and laugh and laugh.

Hearing the voices of the ones I love, even though they are far away.

Looking into the face of my husband and realizing that I am okay. I have a safety net. There is someone here in this foreign land who loves me, who knows me deeply, who will not leave, who does not laugh at my craziness, who will stand by my side.

The moments are everywhere, but I forget to see them. I choose to get in a tizzy and not recognize the providence of God in my life. I forget that this place is gorgeous. That I'm supposed to be here, even though I'm not sure what that means yet. That I am loved.

Moments. So many moments.