Time to Hunker Down

Winter is here. Snow has fallen probably 3 times since Wednesday, I have slipped and slid all over while driving, it takes 15 minutes longer than usual to get everywhere, and I hauled out my new winter warm Alaska coat.

I don't have the heart to take pictures of the beautiful snow because I don't quite feel welcoming toward it yet...soon. Very soon. I'm thinking this weekend my beauty and I might take a winter wonderland walk. Sounds quiet.

As the winter sets in, I feel the need to hunker down, hunker in, and think. There is something about winter that brings about a sincere thoughtful quality within me. With all that is going on at the workplace, in the transition, in the budgeting (we can actually budget now because there is money to budget...who knew?), I feel the need for lots of quiet. This proves to me that I am not the extrovert that I once was and it is odd. I feel a need to sit with my sewing machine (who still needs a name) making something with my bare hands. I feel a need to sit on the couch, drinking cocoa with my husband while we each read a book, contented just to be together. I feel a need for the rest of my chairs to be red. I feel a need to care for others through good food, made with care. I feel a need to sit with a friend and drink a cup of tea. (I'm still working on the making of friends here).

I feel a need to look back on the true passions in my life. I love to help people have better marriages, whatever that may mean. It could mean watching their children while they go out, giving a woman space to go get a cup of coffee and not be 'mom' for an hour, it could mean talking to people about sex and being okay that sex happens and is healthy. I love helping people love their children. This could mean watching puking kids while a parent just needs an hour to breathe and reboot. It could mean doing a family's dishes because they need to just be together. It could mean so many things....but I am passionate about it.

I am passionate about my husband and our relationship. I refuse to give in to the popular American ideal that we shouldn't spend much time together and should always be busy and going. I am willing to go against the universe to fight for him and me. I would do just about anything. I'm not willing to be flexible with my marriage. On my priority list, it comes before all the other junk. Always. I refuse to live like someone who isn't passionate about the one that I love. If I love, then he doesn't get the leftovers - he gets the good stuff. Period. There are seasons in life where that doesn't always happen, but it's the goal. I want to be with him when I am 75. That means being with him now.

Hunker down and think. That is where I am. Bring it on winter, I am ready.