I Like Gray

Postmodern: dare I say the word?

I am currently teaching an adult Sunday school class for parents to chat about some ways to help their teens to develop their faith during their teen years so when they leave the house they own their faith as opposed to only following what their parents believe. Doesn't that sound nice?

I am currently in a women's Bible study where we are talking about the fruit of the Spirit. We are talking about the Holy Spirit and the work of the Spirit in our lives, churches, and communities. Doesn't that sound nice?

I am currently planning Advent readings for church on Sunday. These readings will be focusing on waiting for Jesus symbolically to be born, yes. But these readings will also include provocative questions about waiting for the world to be made right again through the work of Christ. Doesn't that sound nice?

It all is nice. But I am quickly realizing a large problem that I have in relating to people who are older than I am (sometimes not even much older). I have a postmodern brain. I do not think in black and white. I do not think in moral absolute terms. I do not think in terms of 'lost' or 'saved'. I do not usually think in terms of right and wrong. I understand all of this, but I physically cannot make my brain work like this. Because it doesn't.

My goal is not to help these parents figure out how to keep their children out of trouble (sex, drugs, alcohol). My goal is to help these parents foster authentic, real life, daily living, practical faith in the lives of their children so that their children can think and articulate their faith on their own. However, these parents want me to tell them black and white answers. I do not have black and white answers. My answers are in the gray. I am not opposed to students making mistakes or disagreeing with certain theology or even giving up on church for awhile. To me, this means they are asking real questions and dealing with real faith issues that I would rather have them deal with now, while they are in the safety of their church and home. The parents want me to say "this is how to keep your kids from having sex". I want to say "why are we talking about sex, why don't we talk about teaching our children that they are created in the image of God, as temples of the Spirit?" This does not work because they want moral absolutes that I refuse to give.

I'm in this Bible study with women from a variety of places in life. None, however, are without children except me so I am already a little wierd. Today, we were talking about why the church consistently gets caught up in judgment instead of radically loving people through the power of the Spirit. Immediately the conversation turned to talking about how some things are sinful and we have to tell people that. The conversation turned so quickly to black and white. Nobody wanted to accept that Jesus loved people that nobody else would go near. Jesus lived in the gray most of the time by redefining the black and white issues of the law. He did not abolish the law, but he did come to show us what is important.

Advent is about waiting for the coming Christ in birth, but also in his return as our reigning King. My problem is trying to help people understand that Jesus is in the present. Jesus brought his kingdom to earth. We cannot just give up on this world by devaluing creation and people. We are called to change the world now, right now. People don't deal well with this because it means they might have to change. The world is easy in black and white. The world is not so easy when things get a little gray.

But I am gray. I live and breathe in the gray part of the world. Because there are some things that have easy, black and white answers. Some things are just right or wrong. That is true. But most things aren't that easy and I am tired of pretending like they are. Most things in life are hard and I am sick of being told that everything in the Christian life should fit into an easy box of yes and no. I think we are called to so much more than yay or nay. We are called to radical love in the gray area. We are called to love everybody, not just the people we like or agree with. We are called to be in the world, but not of it. If that isn't gray I don't know what is.

But the problem remains that not everybody thinks this way. And I don't know how to help people understand the way my brain works. I like gray. It makes life much more interesting.