6th day of Christmas

On this, the sixth day of Christmas, six geese a laying day, I am thinking back over the last month. And I am a little bit sick to my stomach when I do.

I am thinking back to baking cookies, making too much food, buying lots of butter and sugar, worrying about lights and decorations, frustration over Christmas programs and who will do the advent readings at church. Lots of extra preparation for Christmas services and Christmas parties at church. Frustrating conversations with family about when we will be at whose house and why, figuring out the days and the amount of hours spent with everyone so nobody gets mad about who saw us more than the other. Calling my grandma instead of hugging her myself. Making sure the Christmas cards are written, finding myself angry when we forgot to light our advent wreath in the midst of it all. Everybody getting sick because it is stressful. Not relaxing at all. Coming home with more stuff than I left with and feeling like a greedy pig. Seeing all the stuff I received and realizing that although it was nice to know people cared about and loved me, to also realize that I do not need any of it.

Christmas. The celebration of the incarnation. The Savior of the world came as a baby, a small humble baby who could not do anything for himself. His mother spent the night in labor, birthing the Christ child. She held him as he cried and took his first breath. Angels came to earth, talking to people, lowly shepherds. Light came into a world of darkness and we can never be the same again.

But for me, and for almost everyone I know, Christmas is about Jesus in name only. We say we are worshipping God, but really, we are worshipping stuff and family and sugar.

I realized this with shocking breath this Christmas. I suddenly took a time out and actually 'saw' Christmas. And I felt sick to my stomach.

I really do not want Christmas to be like this anymore. I do not want Advent to be so busy that I cannot even wait in anticipation for the birth of Jesus. I do not want to worry about sugar and decor and where I will be when. I do not want to figure out my Christmas schedule in September to make everyone happy.

It sounds easy, doesn't it? Just worship and forget about everything else. But the pull of culture, church and family is powerful. People have high expectations for me, for you, during this season. I don't want it to be this way next year. But I am still figuring out how that will actually happen. Any suggestions?