Living is Believing

I can honestly say, without any exaggeration, that this last week has been the worst week of my entire life. I know people say that all the time. But I've been thinking all day about it and it really is true. This week has been filled with awful things, heart breaking things, things that I never imagined could happen....and they've all happened at once. Which is lovely.

Please don't ask what the things are. I just can't say. But there are lots of them. I guess you can call if you are nosey.

Since Sunday I have worked 50 hours. For normal people this might not be a big deal. For me it is a huge deal. Keep in mind that I was off on Tuesday. None of this is the fault of anyone, it is the nature of ministry, the nature of life. Sometimes this happens. Then you pray that the next week will be better....easier....calmer.

I look back on this week and I have absolutely no idea how I have survived. Literally no idea. I am not currently happy, but I do feel a deep joy. Despite everything, God has sustained.

This doesn't mean I feel good. It really doesn't mean that life is hunky dory. But God really showed up in a tangible way this week. After the hauntings of the spiritual desert, God has provided water and manna in the midst of a long and arduous trek. The water and manna have come when I least expected them. They do not taste sweet, but they are sustaining enough for me to make it until tomorrow.

I truly cannot see around the corner into next week. I am glad for that. I am glad for a respite on the journey. In a world where people always want to know the future I am completely happy to be clueless about what is next. It is enough that it is Friday and I am still alive, breathing, and in a fairly healthy mental state.

I believe this week because I have lived.