I have been thinking about this for a long time. Everyone has opinions, even if they don't vocalize them. Every person on this earth lives within a system of ethics whether they know it or not. Most people believe in something, yet many people cannot vocalize what that something is.
In the United States today everyone has an opinion. In the church today everyone has an opinion. Everywhere you look somebody has an opinion. From Oprah Winfrey to Glenn Beck and back again, everybody believes something and wants you to know about it.
My questions and thoughts are related to the following questions:
1. Is it okay to have a secure, rooted opinion and share that with other people?
2. If you share your opinion, are you automatically judgmental if that opinion is different than others?
3. As an overarching rule, why can men share their opinion with no afterthought and it is completely fine, but when women say the same things they are hurt or angry or have a chip on their shoulder?
For several years, I have struggled within Christianity specifically. So I'm currently talking within a narrow perspective, not a wide perspective. Within this narrow perspective, I have found that people have major troubles when everyone doesn't agree. If I believe something different than someone else and I state my own opinion, the other person has to fight back.
I have been unable to figure out why this is so difficult. Why can people not believe and think different things? Are some things right and some things wrong? Is it wrong for me to believe that what I think is right? If I think I am right, is it judgmental for me to say so? Is it judgmental for me to believe that my beliefs are right and true? Where is the line?
Kennan made an astute observation. People (again, in the narrow perspective of Christianity) seem to think that if they do not state their opinion or push back, then they are somehow agreeing with you. In other words, if person A says they believe something and person B disagrees, then person B must state their differing opinion. If they don't, then person A will automatically think that they are right and that person B agrees with them. So there has to be a debate. There has to be a fight. Somebody has to win.
I wonder why we can't disagree. I believe two people can read the same Bible and come out believing different things. I think there is a lot more gray than black and white. I am accepting of people who believe different things than I do. Does that mean that I should never state my own opinion? Am I not allowed to believe that I am correct in my beliefs?
For example, here are some things I believe:
::I believe that conventional farming and pesticides are ruining the earth. I believe that *some* of this can be linked to the amazing increase in cancer and other diseases that didn't used to be such a large problem in this world.
::I believe that the United States is great, but is a free country and not a Christian country.
::I believe that injustice, in any form, should not be tolerated. This means that men and women should be treated equally. Children should be treated with respect. People of all races and classes should be given the same opportunities. People should be seen, if at all possible, with the eyes of God.
::I believe that it is quite possible that the world came to be through some form of evolution. I also believe that God started the cycle.
::I believe that pro-life is just about the only stance religious people can have. I believe that pro-life means pro *all* of life, not just unborn children. In my own life, this means no capital punishment, no senseless war killing, no murder, no abortion. Do I believe the abortion law should be overturned? No. I believe that would just cause even more death.
::I believe that there are many things that many churches teach that are flat out wrong.
::I do not believe that men are supposed to be the head of the household. I believe in 'we', not 'I'.
::I believe that strong women could change the world.
::I believe that God can be called by many names and that those names can include both Father and Mother.
The list goes on. My real point is this: Am I allowed to state openly and honestly that I believe things? Is is acceptable that I say that, and even disagree with other people, or think that others are wrong in some of their beliefs?
Most Christians believe that they are right, that Jesus is the only way to heaven. Obviously, the gospel message is much more complex, but Christians believe they are right. No questions asked. Most people do not think it is somehow wrong to believe this. So why is it wrong to believe other things and be serious, well-educated, and unwavering in your opinions? Is it judgmental to have strong beliefs?
I do believe it is a fine line. I think it is extremely difficult to understand someone unless you really know them. Just reading something or hearing something doesn't necessarily mean you know who the other person is or what they really believe. I do think that I am forceful, sometimes too forceful. I do believe that it is possible that my opinions or thoughts will and can change. A person who remains static is a sad person indeed.
I want to listen to people who disagree with me and explain my own opinions in a thoughtful manner. But I expect the same courtesy. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean that it is your job to sway someone to your opinion.
It is acceptable to disagree without pointing fingers. Or coming up with reasons why it is that you disagree. It is simply enough to know that people don't always think the same things. You won't always agree with me. That's okay.
Do other people find this to be true? Do you find that people get inflamed when others disagree with them? Do you find it to be worse or the same within Christian circles? Do you feel the need to debate with people when they think differently?
Let's discuss.
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