On Gratitude

Gratitude and thanksgiving are virtues I have decided need to be cultivated in my personal life in a different way. I have always tried to be grateful, but I have often let little and big things stand in the way. The world often does a lot to tear us down little by little and it is extremely easy to let the bad overwhelm the good. I think gratitude is honestly easier for some people than others and I would like to live a more grateful life, a more honest life, a more joyful life. I am not always a glass half full person and I do not feel that I need to be. Sometimes the world is an overwhelming place to live and even with devout faith things can seem bleak and hopeless. Sometimes cognitively knowing there is hope doesn't mean it feels as though there is, and I'm alright with that.

There are several moments in each day that sometimes bog me down. I love to cook and I truly believe in the value of eating whole foods, but the dishes and the mess sometimes overwhelm me. I love having a simple wardrobe with few options but that also means I can't eek out a few more days before doing laundry. I truly enjoy quilting but often struggle taking it out and putting it away again and again. I love preserving food but when there are hundreds of pounds of food in front of me I sometimes wonder why I don't just live like a sane person and buy those dumb frozen peaches from the store. 

Lately, though, I have been trying to infuse these moments with gratitude instead of letting them be bogged down by frustration. Instead of looking at the dishes with contempt and shaking my fist that we rented yet another house without a dishwasher I am trying to look at the dishes with gratitude. I am grateful we have food to eat. I am incredibly thankful that we have the ability and the knowledge to cook incredibly good food together. Also, as I do the dishes I often give thanks for all of the kitchen gadgets and utensils we have because I have not forgotten where they came from. Many of my kitchen supplies were purchased by family and friends after the fire and I actually remember who purchased each and every one. Others were purchased with money that was donated to us by those same family and friends. Still others were just gifted to us because people knew we needed them in that moment. When I allow myself to be grateful, to truly process all the thanks, I find myself not minding the dishes so much. 


Gratitude has not always been easy for me. I am finding when I intentionally try my best to be thankful that thankfulness does happen more easily. I am in process of reading 'One Thousand Gifts' by Ann Voskamp and it has been really eye-opening for me. This book combined with some other things happening in our lives has forced me to realize that something needs to change. I want to see the beauty around me, I want to be thankful for this one life I have, I want to see the good first, I want my responses to be thankfulness and praise instead of anger and frustration.

In short: I really need a change. 

I know it is November and everyone is doing thankfulness challenges. I realize it is somewhat contrite and maybe even silly. I've been thinking about this for a long time, though, and I'd like to try something out. I'm planning to take a few pictures and write a few words of gratefulness each day this month. It might be on the blog, or in a journal, or who knows where, but I'm going to try to open my weary eyes and truly see the world around me. I want to notice the leaves crunching. I want to be grateful for the wind on my face. I want to see my husband's face and think of all the good that is in him and in our relationship. I want to look out at the world and notice God's hand again instead of running through life with my head down and my eyes shut to the goodness in the world.

This next month may be difficult for me but I am determined to finally see the good. I'm determined to let my gratitude evaporate my frustration. I am determined to be thankful for the life that I have.