That is the question. In my life, right now. As I look at my life, the landscape is becoming more vast. Before, there was only school on the horizon. Now, there is a vast unknown that begins in 15ish months. What is on the landscape? What am I going to be? Who am I going to be?
I am thinking through whether or not I can live this pastoral life. People keep telling me things like: just do it for a little while and decide; do it until you have kids; maybe your calling is only for 5 years; don't think too much about the rest of your life, just think about the present.
Tell me, please, someone - how is this helpful? Don't think too much about the rest of your life? How is this helpful? I need to think about the rest of my life. Yes, I am an over-analyzer and that is not okay. But I do not want to be one of those people who begins a life of ministry and burns out because it wasn't who I was supposed to be in the first place. If I start, I want to finish well.
People, who I'm sure mean well, keep telling me that I am not making a life-long commitment. I think that I am, in some sense. This does not mean that I cannot step back at some point, but in my mind, committing to a church and being ordained is a life commitment.
So what should I be?
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My thoughts as I attempt to figure out my own life journey in the midst of trying to follow the Creator of that life.
About Me
- Alaina Beth
- Real food enthusiast. Quilt maker. Book reader. Sometimes biker and runner. Cat lover. Gardening newbie. Living in town hater. Lover of God, Frustrated with Church. Figuring it out.....slowly.
1 comment:
Dear Alaina, you will never not be who God has called you to be- a spiritual, compassionate, energetic, thoughtful leader of others- that is who you are and are called to live out. Where, how and if you'll always get paid to do it is God's details. You certainly are beyond the dabbling, wiggling your toesies in water phase of life... ;)
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