We have lives. We get busy. We become overwhelmed. Our houses are not always clean, our laundry is not always done, and sometimes we don't have time to take a shower either.
Sometimes, when you talk about having children like it is so important, it makes us feel sad.
Maybe we want children too.
Maybe right now isn't the time for us.
But please, stop making us feel like we aren't whole people. Like we haven't really lived. Like our lives aren't quite good enough yet.
Please, stop telling me that when I have children I will understand. The truth is - maybe I will, but maybe I still won't agree with you.
Some things hurt. Making people feel like they are less because they haven't made the same choices you have isn't okay.
Life can be significant and meaningful with and without children.
Please, please. Stop the competition. Realize that everyone's life matters. Everyone's feelings count. Everyone has a different way and time frame while walking this earth.
Just so you know, people who don't have children are people too. We love children, maybe. We want children, maybe.
Please don't be mad at me for watching a movie on a weeknight. Or making choices about jobs and employment that work for me in the right now of life.
My life might be different. It might look great to you, from the other side.
Please don't forget that your life looks great too. And when you make me feel like your life is more important because of this issue, it scars. Deeply.
Please remember. Children are wonderful. I love children.
But people who don't have children are people too.
3 comments:
Wow, Alaina, thanks for your honesty. It's no easy thing to express deep hurt. I hope that you are able to have meaningful one-on-one dialogue with those who have caused you pain. Maybe I'm one of them...if so, I sincerely apologize...I certainly have never intended harm. Thank you for the reminder of the importance of sensitivity to others...particularly those who are in "life situations" different from our own. Love you.
I think this is true in a lot of places in life! I felt like everyone told me that I wasn't REALLY a parent until I had two. And truth? 2 is different than 1. And 1 is different than None. Doesn't REALLY matter, does it? I'm sorry. I DO think that folks with children DO tend to get wrapped up in what is going on in THEIR lives...as do folks without any kids. Sorry A, I think you are great JUST the way you are.
I love this, Alaina. I love your honesty. I don't know how many times I've been told, "You'll understand when you have kids." Bleh.
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