A Small Rant

Hello friends, foes, and family. This is a short rant about my life right now. You don't have to read it, but it will make me feel better.

I think I am depressed. Not clinically or anything - so don't freak out - but just sad and down about everything happening in my life right now. My husband moved away - and I won't live with him full-time again until September. Because of this, I cannot sleep. Not sleeping leads to not feeling well. Not feeling well leads to crabby. And crabby leads to bad places - especially with my job. I have to leave these people who I have grown to love - a place where it is quiet. Then I have to move in with people I do not know in Milwaukee, to do a chaplaincy that scares the pants off of me. The chaplaincy will be a good experience, but that doesn't change the fact that it freaks me out. And my support system will be living in Iowa. Not helpful.

I don't know how to say good-bye. I don't know how to be a chaplain. I don't know how to pack an apartment by myself. I don't know how to keep myself from the ugly tears (you know, the ones where your whole face turns splotchy and red?) during my good-bye sermon. I don't know how to ease the pain in my heart - the worry, the scared, the fearful, the sad. I don't know how to do this....I just don't know how...

I just needed to let it out.