Death can really slap you in the face.
My mom called last night to tell me that a man I grew up with, a man who was the husband of her best friend, died in a chair yesterday.
She doesn't know why. She doesn't know when.
What she does know is that her dearest friend walked in the door and found her 58 year old husband dead in a chair. That, dear people, is awful.
My mom called me at 11:30pm her time. She usually goes to bed at 9:30. She'd been sitting in the chair without speaking for a long time while my dad tried to get her to call me. So she called. I'm not convinced I did anything helpful other than tell her that I love her.
Secretly, when I saw that call I flipped out. I thought a family member was dead and my brain was making plans about how I could afford to get to Iowa. Late night phone calls are never good, especially when they are from my parents.
Can this really be happening? Can people only slightly older than my parents be dying already? Can people my in-laws age be dead in a chair? How can I be old enough to have multiple friends with parents who are already gone from this world?
I wanted to scream at my mom - eat more vegetables! - get your physicals! - tell dad to quit his job that is too hard on his body! - and on and on. Not because my parents aren't healthy but because THIS SCARED THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME.
Death is shocking. Every time.
Death makes you hold the ones you love just a little closer. Death makes me want to move to the midwest. Death makes you realize that for all the pontificating and crazy talk out there no one really does know exactly what happens afterward. And all the talking about how wonderful it is really doesn't matter.
Because my mom's dear friend is a widow. And she just turned 50. She is alone and her entire life was shattered yesterday afternoon.
Hug the ones you love.
And, something else that I learned...
**Be kind to your in-laws**
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