Well, that's another one for the books.

I got another job rejection today.


I have applied for 7 jobs in Homer. I got two of them, one being the horrific episode that I quit and the other being the 20 hour per week job that I currently have. 


20 hours per week just isn't enough. The income is fine, but more would be helpful. More money is always helpful, yes?


The problem is that I am bored. Just bored. The house is clean. The laundry is done. The dishes are washed. Working out happens almost every day. I work, I write my notes, I come home. I am not someone who usually talks or feels bored. But I am.


You can only read for so long before you want to scream.


Your house can only be so clean.


I could volunteer, sure. Fine. Yes. Great.


I want a job that is fulfilling. Something that I actually somewhat enjoy most of the time.

I am starting to think that Alaska may hate me. The job situation and Alaska and myself aren't getting along. It is a major problem when you'd like to build a life somewhere.


We've lived here almost a year. Still nothing. Before that, over 6 months of nothing.


I truly am not sure how much I can take. People keep telling me to put myself out there or start my own thing, which sounds great. However, when you've been rejected again and again you don't have much faith anymore.


I don't have much faith anymore in myself. If no one wants to hire me, then why would I think that anyone would want to give me money for something I can do? 


This whole interview process was pretty crazy. 


Isn't it pathetic that you can't get a job when you have 8 years of college education? Crazy, I tell you. 


The problem is that I don't want to settle, which I've said before. I don't want to have a job just to have a job. I just don't. It isn't necessary. I want to have a healthy, whole marriage. For us, that means not being away from one another all the time. 


Brokenness is becoming a way of life. Hope is starting to feel harder and harder to hold onto.


I hope someday I can look back on this time of life and feel like I'm learning something. The problem is I feel like the only thing I've learned is that I don't seem to fit in anywhere in Alaska. That's a tough one for me to swallow. Especially when I'd like to stay.