Minds Change, People Change, What's the Problem?

I firmly believe that living life to its fullest means change. Living a real life means changing your mind, changing your opinions, changing your thought processes, changing who you are to become who you are called to be.


Many people live lives where their opinions never change. Somebody said it to me as a child - maybe it was parents, maybe teachers, maybe the church, who knows - but they said it to me, so it is true. Period. Deeply rooted "isms" are created this way. Racism, sexism, classism, etc. These things are bred in us when we are too young to know any different, often by well meaning and loving people. 


The trouble is, we keep believing them. Sometimes, it is because we are deeply afraid of change in any form. Sometimes, it is because we cannot face the fact that we may have been completely in the wrong for such a long time. Sometimes, we can't come to grips with the fact that the people who said these things to us (the people who really matter in our lives) might have been wrong.


Sometimes, we are just stubborn and obstinate. We don't want to learn about what is really happening in the world because we might have to do something about it. We don't want to think about how other people are treated differently than us because we are right - so there!


Sometimes we need a big old slap in the face to see clearly. 


As I have watched the political and religious commentary unfold from the last few days I am left with some lingering questions. These questions really do not have much, if anything, to do with sexuality. I have my beliefs regarding sexuality and they are different from everything that I used to hold dear.


I was once a bigoted young woman. I believe I have been changed by the grace of a loving God. I do not believe that everyone agrees with me, or even should agree with me. Opinions change, ideas evolve, and I currently believe that my view is correct. That could change, though, with new conviction or new study. 


The thing that I wonder about is this: Why do we act like political, religious, or even just opinions in general cannot or should not change? 


I do not really like politics. I think that, basically, the good old USA is run by corporations. I believe there are good politicians and I believe there are horrific politicians. There is also everything in between. But our country has affirmed corporate personhood, which to me is just a load of crap. Corporations pay for campaigns, they pay for lobbyists, really? - they run the world. 


The point of all this is to say that this post is not about the fact that President Obama came out in support of gay marriage this week. I am glad that he finally said something openly about that particular topic, but it really is not the point of the post. 


The point is - why is it such a huge deal that he changed his mind? And not even just him, politicians in general change their mind about things frequently. Romney himself has said numerous things in his current campaign that he seemed to disagree with while he was governor of Massachusetts.


I do not really care that they have changed their minds. I think that thoughtful people, people who are actually interacting with the world at large should change their minds. Our opinions and ideas should not remain the same during our entire lifetime. If they did, this world would be a terrible place. 


Again, I know that this is politics. And politics is a tricky business. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people make lots of money doing it, and others do it because they are strongly convicted. Yes, Obama wants voters. Who doesn't? Why is that a surprise?


What I don't understand is why we berate people in this nation for changing their minds. We change our minds all the time about both large and small things. Why are public people not allowed to have a genuine change of heart? Please remember, I am not talking specifically about what the President said - I don't know his motivations and really, I don't care what his motivations were about this. I just do not understand why he is getting raked over the coals for changing his mind about something. Aren't we glad that politicians can think and grow and change? Aren't we thankful that people are willing to admit that they are not perfect? Minds change, beliefs morph, life does not stay the same.


My opinions have changed drastically during the last ten years. Isn't that what is supposed to happen? You live with your family for 18 years and then they let you go into the world. They trust that they have built a foundation and you roam the world, figuring out who you are. The person that I am is not the exact replica of the person my family wanted me to become. No one is. Isn't that a good thing? Do we really want a bunch of mini-me's running around this world? Don't we want to have children who can stand firm in their convictions? Don't we want to raise children who can think, who can process the world around them, even if they see the world differently from us?


Isn't life about discovery? I just do not understand. Maybe people are freaking out because the opinion change is about sexuality. Maybe they just don't like him, which is completely fine. I do not really care about that. What I care about is a country that says you are never allowed to change who you are...that you can't evolve and change your opinions and learn and grow throughout your life.


I find the whole thing completely disheartening.