The News. Boom.

Usually, I can start typing a blog post right away. I have an idea and I write. Previously, it has been that simple. 


Today I have stared at the keys for a lengthy period of time. My stomach hurts a little bit, my eyes are moist, and my heart hurts with hope and pain.


We are moving back to Iowa in early August. We will be relocating to the Cedar Falls area. We drive out of Alaska on July 28 if all things fall into place easily and well.


We just spent 10 days in Iowa to decide on a job for Kennan and the process, while wonderful and exciting, is and was exhausting. We are tired. If you are from Iowa and we did not contact you or you had no idea we were there please understand that this trip was about moving. Trying to explain everything to everyone before we knew what was happening would have been an extremely risky idea. We did not want to get people's hopes up just to dash them if we had decided not to move. 


For some, this is a complete shock. For others, the news is not a surprise at all. We could have called everyone we know or sent emails, but so much energy has been expended just making this choice that we currently do not have the ability to expend that much more energy. 


So here it is, a blog post linked on facebook telling the world that we're moving back to the land of humidity, the land of corn, the land of flatness, the land of dirty rivers, the land that we drove away from a mere 3 years ago.


While Iowa is not necessarily the place I thought I would choose to live, it is a place of hope in the right now of our lives. It is the land that we know, the land with tomatoes, the land with family, the land with winters that only last 5 months. While we were there it felt right. I have learned to trust my intuition.


Why? some have asked. There are so many answers. There are so many reasons. There is a lot to wonder about. Some of the reasons are good and some of them are bad. The truth is that it does not really matter why. What matters is that it is happening and the consequences of that are beautiful and painful rolled into one big mess of possibility.


The next couple of months will be extremely difficult. Kennan has a job on the other end, but we have to figure a lot of other things out. How do you find a place to live from 3500 miles away? How can we finagle our finances so that we still have money to pay the bills and deposits when we get to the other end? How exactly do we get our stuff from point A to point B? How can we enjoy the process of moving when it is so very, very stressful? How do we stuff in all the things we want to do in Alaska before we leave?


How do we say good-bye?


The blog will be filled with pain and sadness and joy in the coming months. There will be heartache. There will be the high of new possibility. 


I might share more about the whys and hows at some point, but for now, the news has landed. 


Let it be.